Monday, November 21, 2016

Linda's Top 5 Cheek Hurt Moments

Linda has a beautiful southern voice, but I think what attracts me more is her laughter and her great sense of humor.

She loves to laugh, and in fact when I first met her, the top line on her profile was "live, love, laugh often....".

Her repertoire ranges from mischievous giggles, to audacious snorts, to long silences where she has literally lost her breath laughing.

I love hearing her laugh, the sounds of her happiness, and without further ado, here are what i think are the top 5 moments when Linda laughed so hard that she started snorting or even (and I quote her) her cheeks actually hurt:

1. Sake Time (2016-10-29)

It was a Saturday night....I had been imbibing half a bottle of sake (which is 15% alcohol by volume) and was kinda buzzed...and me and Linda were voicing with Aqua at the Cafe.

Somehow it had gotten into my mind that blow drying one part of me after an ice cube massage would be a GOOD IDEA! Don't ask me how I got the idea, but I'm pretty sure Linda had something to do with it....*mutters under breath*

I prepared all the items, all the while hearing Aqua and Linda laughing like loons and worrying about the police finding me electrocuted in a puddle of water with a blow dryer in one hand.

I remember Meli IMing me to go to a party, and me telling her I was too busy blow drying my you know what...she had replied in typical deadpan British fashion "Of course you are."

2. Dancing MK (2015-9-17)

It was the Austin 7th Anniversary Week and Linda and I were attending WW's Bound or Undressed Party Game.

I was participating in the game, but I have to admit the only reason I was competitive was because both Linda and Meli were feeding answers to me. Yes, subs are frequently smarter than the Doms!

Anyways, Linda was already giggling over the way I was trying to answer the questions when she gave me some object, and asked me to wear it.

Being the innocent and trusting soul that I am (and being really busy concentrating on the game), I donned the object and suddenly found myself dancing!

It was River Dance, and I must have looked kinda funny dancing it because Meli, Avril (?) and Linda started laughing hysterically.

In between bouts of giggling and snorting, Linda gave me another object, and when I donned it, I now started dancing like a 1920s flapper, which caused the girls to laugh even harder.

Suffice it to say, that was the last Bound or Undressed game WW did in a long time ;-)

3. MK arrested (early 2016)

I was in voice chat at Starbucks when I suddenly had to move my car. I switched on the car and slowly moved to another spot, but as I struggled with the headphones and earplugs and mouse that were in the way, I could hear shrieks of laughter coming from the earphone.

I started cursing as I went up one of the islands in the parking lot, and this induced more fits of laughter from the ungrateful %^%$^$&%$ who were allegedly my friends.

Anyways, once I got settled back down, Linda said (in between lots and lots of snorting and giggling) that they thought i was being arrested, and they had all quieted down to hear how it went.

Obviously, this made me realize who my real friends are....

4. ADD and ADHD (2016-6-24)

During a voice chat at Austin, Ratzu asked Linda about why she had covered the girl posters in the room with sunglasses, and I told him it was because she had ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), which caused a fit of snorting in my little boo when she tried to explain it and then couldn't after her mind started to wander..she also started pretending to be one of the rock band AC/DC after I said AC/DC instead of ADD.

5. Mushrooms and Submarines (2016-10-21)

At one voice chat, I mentioned that Linda calls me the "Submarine" (I should not need to explain that reference for those who know me well! *grins proudly*), at which point my boo countered that she actually calls me "Mushroom", all the while giggling mischievously.

Woland asked whether it was because I released torpedoes sporadically, and Sage wondered whether it's because Linda "kept me in the dark and fed me bullshit" (!!!), but Linda smoothly noted it's because I was her "Umbrella of Love" hahahaha...rigggghhhhht!!!!


Extreme Cold (2016-9-9)

At another voice chat recently, we were talking about the effects of extreme cold, and I in my most logical frame of mind, noted that due to higher insulation, cold would have less of an effect on overweight people. This caused Linda, obviously in her PC frame of mind, to start laughing like a loon and exclaiming to me "don't! don't go there!" and that what i was saying was basically that "we should send out the fat people cuz they would last longer" in the cold. To his credit, RB noted that I was probably right due to spherical objects having less surface to volume ratios.

Oh, in that chat we also talked about surviving extreme cold by crawling into the body of a dead animal, surviving extreme cold by masturbating, and what appendages might break off in the cold, and masturbating next to a police a car...with no trousers on....and a dead animal by your side...which caused more fits of laughter from everyone.

Well, there you have it folks...the top 5 cheek hurt moments of Linda!

I noticed five of the top 6 are actually fairly recent (in 2016), but unfortunately that's an artifact of the fact I've forgotten a lot of other stuff in the past. Oh well.

I hope you enjoyed that list, and please come back again next time for another episode of..."As Linda's World Turns"...and turns...then turns some more...then loosens and rolls down the drainage ditch...

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