Friday, September 11, 2015
Our missing collaring ceremony
At times I wonder why my boo and I never had a formal collaring ceremony. In fact, I'm not even exactly sure when Linda formally submitted to me, because we kinda fell into our relationship, which progressed from mere boyfriend-girlfriend status to Master and submissive in the space of a few months and with no discernible border.
But then I realized that for us (and perhaps for many others), the process of living together, of playing together, of caring for one another as the days turn into weeks, and the weeks turn into months and years IS the collaring.
We both add to her collar as time passes: Bit by bit, piece by piece, we build the bond between us as we get to know one another. Each time she kneels with her heart open to me we strengthen that collar; each time I place her on my lap and hug her tight and whisper my love for her I contribute to its upkeep; each time I lead her by the leash and feel her compliant response to my tug we add more trim to the chain around her neck.
Sometimes I miss having memories and pictures from some formal collaring ceremony, but perhaps in many ways our D/s bond is like marriage - it's not the ceremony itself that matters, but the things that happen after the wedding that make or break the relationship.