Thursday, November 13, 2014

How to tell you're doing domly right

1. You care more about the sub's safety and health than you do about your own pleasure. For example, you're not wanking uncontrollably and going into some inner headspace yourself while controlling a scene

2. You don't expect every sub you meet to kneel down before you in abject worship of your domliness, or even expect them to call you Sir, much less to jump into bed with you automatically just because they are submissive.

3. You actually do your research and don't base your entire repertoire of domly dom stuff on literature like the Story of O, or even worse, the Gor novels. You continue to actively learn, and talk openly to your sub and with others...go to discussions, and practice practice practice in SL and RL. You're not the fucking lone don't exist in a vacuum.

4. You never ever believe YOUR way is always the RIGHT way. You adjust, adapt, and are flexible as you learn more things, whether it be about your partner or about D/s in general,

5. You don't mold a sub into what YOU want her to be, you help the sub achieve the best of what SHE can be.

6. You make sure you have control over yourself first before letting someone entrust control over themselves to you.

7. You use the right tool for the job. Now put that car battery back into the car where it belongs.

8. You do the dishes. Yes, you. You don't forget there are much more important things in life than getting your domly on.

9. You're honest with yourself and with the people around you.

10. You are humble and realize that you will make mistakes, and when you do you graciously acknowledge them and learn so you'll do better next time.

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