Rice Wars Episode V: The Lindas Strike Back

I lead a simple life with my pre-glutton Linda.

I  lead a simple life. I care for my boo girl Linda Lou, and i like scripting, sailing, and BDSM.

I also like growing my rice crop in preparation for the eventual Zombie Apocalypse that will send millions of frenzied flesh eating man-eaters swarming into the blasted landscape in search of human flesh.

Waiting eagerly for the Zombie Apocalypse

When food resources are low, and people are reduced to eating french fries from abandoned and decrepit Carl's Jr eateries, it is my hope to be able to offer the remnants of humanity a safe haven, a place where we can rebuild civilization under the despotic iron fisted rule of...oh wait...i mean, under the "benevolent autocratic rule" of someone smarter, stronger, and better prepared than anyone else...me!!!!

Benevolent dictator pose...booyah!

Unfortunately, I did not take into account the vagaries of nature...or in this case, the whims and fancies of that most destructive of elements - mischievous submissives!!!!

I started with a small plot with 4 plants, but these fell prey almost immediately to hordes of ravenous leprous lepus a day after I proudly showed Linda my new garden...ok ok, there was one rabbit involved, but he ate really really fast....and he had big teeth....kinda like Linda actually.

More determined than ever to pursue my goal of total global food control, I set aside a private sandbox and created new and much larger rice fields, and this time I did not give my little blond barbie the LM.

Alas, not for the first time I seriously underestimated the ingenuity and resourcefulness of truly mischievous subs!

Only one day after I finalized my fields, I suddenly received a texture from Linda, and when I opened it I gasped in shock and horror as I read the taunt "I ate all your rice!"

Gone was the slender and graceful girl who had taken my heart. In her place was a bloated caricature in a two piece bathing suit who was munching on a green stalk of rice, the rolls of fat hanging off her a sick testament to the pallets of rice that had fallen to her vile depredations.

The Linda! I shiver looking into those pale blue predator eyes!

Not content with her plunder, Linda also convinced Melinda Nyn to continue to wreak havoc on my crops, so this worthy sub sneaked into my fields while I was busy daydreaming under the shade of my hut and munched away happily on the growing plants, quickly rivaling The Linda in size....

When I woke up and tried to stop her, Meli sat on me! SHE SAT ON ME!!!!!!

Hmmmpphhhh....she sat on me!!!! She sat on me!!!!

A few broken ribs later, I was finally alone with my shattered dignity and devastated crops.

But as I looked upon the rows of flattened rice stalks I suddenly felt a surge of determination and anger course through me, and to the strains of Max Weiner's soaring Gone with the Wind soundtrack I clenched my fist to the sky and cried:

"I'll think of it tomorrow, I can stand it then. After all, tomorrow is another day!”

I love me southern belles!

And for added emphasis

"Ye bugger!!!!"

PS. On the positive side, I did put up the "disgustingly bloated Linda" picture in the rice fields...I figure it'll scare away the birds that are trying to steal the ripening grain.

Even Hitchcock's The Birds fly away in fright!

No rabbits in this rice field

I'll just make sure Linda never gets the landmark to this sandbox...

When the Zombie Apocalypse happens, this is where I'll start my village and make myself Dictator for Life to the starving worshipful masses with my five breeding wives Angharad, Capable, Cheedo, Toast, and the Dag Boo (aka Linda)!

*rubs hands gleefully together, wondering how to get the hot tub from below up here*

Ok, I've obviously been watching too much of Mad Max: Fury Road, but it was an ok movie.

Lingerie Dance at Cafe LaPe'rouse @ Austin

Sometimes it pays to listen to your sub. Even someone as mischievous as Linda!

There I was, dressed up in somewhat conservative Disney PJs and monkey slippers for the Austin Lingerie Dance, when my baby girl suddenly blurted out why I didn't wear an elephant thong she had given me several months back.

When I demurred and said I couldn't find it in my inventory, the always helpful Linda immediately posted a link to one in marketplace, and since I loathed being regarded as a dinosaur and oldie and uncool, I just as quickly bought it and wore the darn thing.

I may have had second thoughts, but they were washed away when Melinda Nyn told me some other doms would wear thongs if I wore one (ha!)

Something tells me I just lost whatever dignity I had left...thanks baby!

The Lingerie Dance itself on May 21 at Cafe LaPe'rouse @ Austin was being done twice. The first one at 1 pm SLT was being hosted by Melinda with DJ Abby scheduled as the DJ (though the actual DJ was Jonathon Carbenell), and the second at 4 pm SLT was also hosted by Melinda but the DJ was Stormy Dench.

The venue was another artistic piece of work by Aria Teodosio (Aria Vyper), a huge pinkish lingerie shop that screamed 1950s to me, and made me want to keep buying lingerie until they revoked my Mastercard (or dragged me away from the aisles knee deep in lace and silk and other frilly things).

I keep thinking about Back to the Future when seeing Meli's Lingerie Shop

Interestingly enough, a fitting room to the back of the shop displayed various BDSM equipment, which elicited blushes from the host when I asked about them and wondered whether Macy's and other departments stores should have some on display as well.

Some of the contraptions that were in Meli's Lingerie Shop (taken after event)

Another interesting thing about the festivities was that two of the girls (Michele Aria and Julie Tremont) posed in lingerie on the store windows during the first hour.

Aria mannequin

This reminded me of the Alanis Angels in Alanis Gallery, who frequently are required to pose as inanimate statues on that art sim.

Julie mannequin

The dance started out with couples and singles dancing, but soon people gravitated towards the line dancing poses.

I had the sudden urge to sing the Thong Song

For the first hour and a half or so, I danced with my baby girl, whose slender form was decked out in a sexy Aveline cheongsam lingerie, before she had to leave for RL.

Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just glad to see me? Oh hell no, it's an orange elephant!!!!

Then I danced with Meli, who seemed to be rather intimidated by the garishly orange pachyderm protruding from my thong (lol)

Orange phants love pink English ladies!

Later that night I returned to find people (including Ratzu!) still line dancing long after the second session had ended...and when you see something like that you know the event has been an overwhelming success.

Deeperblue (DeeperBlue00 Donogal) took an amazing video of the line dancing that happened during this second session. Take a look at it below. Thanks Deeperblue!

Congrats to pink lady Melinda Nyn for hosting another great event; Aria for creating another masterpiece venue; and to the DJs for providing awesome music to the gathered crowds!

More pics from the second session, courtesy of Meli...

The Olive Branch: A Year of Growth

We attended the first year anniversary dance at TOB on May 20.

The celebration had started at 12 SLT, but a scheduled discussion at Austin had delayed our arrival until around 1 pm SLT.

I don't believe it is necessary for me to point out to readers who have visited TOB how absolutely gorgeous the scenery is in that sim. In my opinion, I've never frequented another sim that has managed to synchronize all the components of the setting to create such a wonderfully complete gestalt, and this includes comparisons to universally acknowledged paragons of beauty like Tempura.

Linda and I

Incredibly enough, the designers managed to outdo themselves for this event. The landing point of the sim had been redesigned with stone ramparts and looked quite fetching compared to when I last went there.

Landing Point

Guests would then walk along a narrow and winding dirt path to get to the dance location. A moss covered stone wall delineated the path from the surrounding vegetation, which all tended towards temperate woodlands.

Path to Olive Seed Garden

The path ended at a stone archway, with a wooden sign proclaiming that this was the entrance to the Olive Seed Gallery.

Entrance to Olive Seed Gallery

The dance location itself had been festooned with large images of many of the TOB members, which hang from moss-covered walls and various easels, and all framed by majestic trees covered in lavender blooms.

There were dozens and dozens of portraits spread out among the various sections that made up the gallery, but after some confusion and a lot of scanning I even managed to locate our pic with the help of Sage (SageWisdom).

When we finally arrived late, there were still many people dancing gracefully to the tunes of DJ Jeroen, all of them dressed in their finest regalia. Melinda Nyn and Damion (cyberdami Resident) were dancing there, as were Billy and Sage Avedon.

We spent the next hour enjoying ourselves as we pirouetted and glided under the protective canopy of the ancient verdant trees that crowded around the gallery.

At the end a colorful display of fireworks lit up the night sky.

It was definitely an amazing way to celebrate the first year anniversary of The Olive Branch!

Note: If you took pics of your own, feel free to contact me for posting.

Voice Chat at Cafe LaPe'rouse @ Austin

The May 19 Voice Chat

Cafe LaPe'rouse @ Austin typically holds a voice chat from 1-2 pm SLT on Tuesdays and Fridays at the Star Bucks room, and the chat is usually hosted by Melinda Nyn or Lilian Howley, although other people may take over if the two are not available.  The topic of the voice chat is free ranging, and frequently meanders from one subject to another as people chime in with their thoughts.

It typically ends about an hour after the start, though very rarely the event can last for 4-5 hours, as it did one time when Melinda hosted one from 1-5 SLT! Participants may also vary as the chat progresses, with people dropping out only to be replaced by new arrivals.

Linda and I have been regulars to these voice chats. We both enjoy the informal nature of the talks, and the camaraderie that develops due to the intimate nature of the event and the regularity with which some people attend them. It also allows you to get to know the real person behind the avatars in a friendly and safe setting.

Linda and I at our regular spot in an earlier chat

I attended the voice chat held on May 19. The attendees during the event (in no particular order) were Melinda Nyn, Billy Avedon, Sage Avedon (SageWisdom), Shah Joffe, Aria (Michele Aria), Peter Jackson (Peterjackson72), Cara Olivieri, Avril Aura, Lord Glasswing, Sergej Lubitch, and Allora (tracey oppewall).

I enjoyed the voice chat quite a bit. Although I could not speak out loud due to circumstances, I nevertheless followed the proceedings using an ear bud, and chimed in sporadically on local text chat.

The topics during this chat veered wildly from one subject to another, but there was quite a lot of laughing and general amusement throughout the 2 hours that I managed to attend.

We started with talks about Bruce Jenner and his sex change operation, Cara's fashion blog, and public bathrooms and how men and women differed in their reactions to people of the opposite sex intruding (men didn't really give a damn whether women entered the men's room, whereas most agreed it was a fair bet a man going into the women's restroom would end up in jail).

The unusual topic of penises being like little men with hats was then proposed by one of the women in attendance (i'll be kind and not mention who suggested this), before the talk moved on to movies, turbans (Shah was wearing one, and Peter noted the origin of the head attire); men wearing lingerie for the upcoming  lingerie dance (I mused that I might wear the thong I wore at the last Angels and Demons dance since it really showed off my sexy butt lol); and wife beater tank tops and how they were named differently in other countries. The subject of the upcoming auction also came up, as did a serious discussion on confidence and how it makes one more attractive.

I had to leave for home by 3 SLT, but the event itself probably lasted a bit longer after I left, and I can only imagine what other hilarious topics could have been touched upon during that time *grins*

10 month anniversary

Our 10 month anniversary passed uneventfully yesterday, but what an amazing time it has been for me (and well, hopefully for my baby girl as well). We've had a lot of ups, but some of the normal downs as well...but in the end I wouldn't change anything...every laugh, every voice raised in anger, every loving endearment whispered...every single little moment together helped me get to know my little boo (aka 'Little Bob') just a tiny bit more.

Restarting the DM Nyotaimori table

Ronnie looks delish as the main dish

I will be continuing work on the DM Nyotaimori table. I am making a customized, one of a kind personalized version for an auction I am participating in, but a more basic model will be available later this year for the public.

It will be by far the best Nyotaimori table in the market.

Only a dream away

dressing up my pretty little barbie doll

Superhero and Villains dance at Alanis Gallery in Xaara

Linda and I attended the Superheroes dance at Alanis gallery in Xaara on April 27, an event that was hosted by Laura Audebarn with music provided by DJ Geordie.

I came as a modified Joker, while Linda strutted her stuff as Wonder Woman.

MK Joker and LindaWoman

As expected, quite a few of the other ladies at the event also sported Wonder Woman costumes.

There just seems something so sensual and kinky about the superheroine from Paradise Island to me (and most likely other men). Perhaps it's her Lasso of Truth, which calls up images of kinbaku and other rope bondage activities, or perhaps it's simply her reputation as an amazon warrior, beholden to no man and thus presenting somewhat of a challenge to the stupider sex. Or maybe it's as simple as the fact lots of young boys in the early 1980s had a crush on the beautiful brunette Lynda Carter.

In addition to the wonder womans, there were sexy supergirls and slinky catwomen, while on the male side we had the usual batmans, supermans, and other DC and Marvel superheroes and villains in multi-colored tights.

Laura also had some pretty sexy pics for sale on one wall of various superheroines, and Linda and I bought a couple to decorate our home.

How old is your second life avatar?

Microsoft is testing a new service that tries to determine your age, and I decided to test MK's looks against it.

I am going to hazard a guess most avis here would be in their 20s or 30s, but MK tracked pretty close to my true age. Plus, it seems to be telling me MK's male, which is always good to know!