Sadists like flowers too (aka "dont hate me cuz I'm beautiful")

Thanks to the always beautiful and fashionable Lori Novo for thinking I'm interesting enough to be listed in her writings.

In the (often misquoted) words of the immortal Sally Field:  "You like me, you really really like me!"

And thanks for adding the dainty red flowers...it does add that...hmmm..."feminine touch" to someone who otherwise looks like a Matrix reject sporting a lethal assortment of BDSM accoutrements. 

Kinda like Dustin Hoffman's Tootsie meets the sadomasochistic Cenobites from Hellraiser.

Holiday candies to everyone!

There's no better feeling in the world than having a beautiful girl clinging to you, trusting completely in you, giving herself completely to your wishes as the Mayan Long Count Great Cycle begins anew.

My good Aussie friend Marie Monk, who when not rowdy and completely stone-faced drunk, is just about the sweetest nicest girl in SL, was really too cute in her holiday outfit, so I donned the santa's hat from the Santa's Revenge toy and we took some cool holiday pics.

Couldn't find the damn candy cane though, which was most fortunate for my unsuspecting candy girl. So happy holidays from all of us to you! May you find your own sweet candy to usher in the new Mayan Long Count Cycle!

For more good information on the Mayan Calendar, here's this link from Foxnews, which for the first time that I know of, is actually good for something after all ;-)

PS. It's interesting that Psy's Gangnam Style, youtube's most viewed video ever (it's currently at 994 million as I write this), is going to hit one BILLION views on the same day the world end. Coincidence? lol.

DMH Penis - not a freebie anymore!

We made the decision to move the DMH Penis as a priced item from being a freebie.

The reason is simple. We've sold nearly 10,000 of the item in less than a year and every day more than 600 unique people use the penis. Since the point scoring system and partner database run on a hosted server, the cost of maintaining such a growing population of users is starting to outweigh the benefits of using the DMH Penis as a loss leader for other products.

In other words, we want LESS people buying the thing, and adding a small cost to it (a ridiculously low 10L) should accomplish that. To assuage some of the sting for customers, we added a bonus product along with the DMH Penis package and will add more bonus features to it going forwards.

Bees Through the Seasons

For the bee lovers among us (and yes, I am one in RL), and for anyone who just loves nature and innovative creations, I hit upon this small garden with small stores that was bee-themed, and which holds an event each season for participating creators to showcase their wares.

Bees Through the Seasons comes around 4 times a year for each season! The event will last a month only. Every time the event buzzes back around a new mix of creators will be chosen to create something themed matching the season for our little bee garden. The garden is only small but filled with such talent, something different each time and something for everyone. Buzz on down and see what the bees have been busy with this season!

I bought a very interesting honeycomb shelf and wanted a stuffed bee toy for some honey (haha), but it was no transfer so I skipped on that for now.

You can visit the garden using this SLURL, and the group information is here.

Welcome random weird visitors!

I'm always amused by the search words random visitors to the site use to get here.

In addition to the more likely "dm vibrator" and "dmh penis instructions sl" (hmmm, friend, it's on the menu!), the blog gets some real weird search terms.

Like this month it got "do penguins have boobs", which i guess landed them in the second MK Second Life Dictionary, or the  more disturbing "monkey pussy" and "monkeypussy" (haha).

People have also come to this blog using the search term "talking pussy", and several have come after searching for "facial vibrators", which is something I believe I do not want to ever see.

That warped holiday spirit

We're selling so many Santa's Revenge sex toys it actually vaulted past the DMH Penis in the SL Marketplace rankings. Obviously, it isn't selling more in absolute numbers than either the Penis or the Pussy, but it's selling enough at its much higher price range that greedy SL decided to up the ante.

What does this say about people? Something is seriously wrong with their holiday spirit. Really wrong.

Maybe it's time to consider a Thanksgiving Turkey Terror or a Leprechaun Lecher to go with the Santa product.

Gangnam Style

Because one can never have enough of a Korean guy pretending to ride an invisible pony.

But seriously, the song is about the crass materialism of a tiny suburb in South Korea, with the singer lampooning one of the residents of that town.

And anything that makes Bill O'Reilly look like a total tool and beats up on Bieber can't be all that bad.

The Melancholy Angel of Tempura

The Melancholy Angel of Tempura (Lori Novo)

A couple days back I logged into SL and decided to visit one of my old hangouts. I was feeling somewhat maudlin, and by accident chanced upon a scene straight out of some painting.

There she sat, an angel clad in a diaphanous gown, her ethereal wings flapping languidly in the slight breeze. and framed by the dainty pink flowers of the surrounding trees. The whole panorama literally made me catch my breath, and I had to take a pic of the beautiful Lori Novo after asking her permission.

The whole scene spoke of melancholy, of some sadness that was made even more stark by the beauty that emanated from it. And I must be more empathetic lately, because the next day Lori confirmed that she was in fact sad that night.

It's heartening to know that one can still be affected by the beauty of SL, even after more than a year of wallowing in its filth.

Update to Lemur Rental Box

After the usual pestering by Sylvie Etoile, I added several new features to the Lemur Rental Box System and I must say this product is getting really robust after all the added features.

The new features include:

1. Rental box displays late texture and how much time the renter is late
2. In Late Mode, when renter pays, the rental box takes into account payments for late days.
3. Anyone can now pay for renter when rental box is in rented mode.

To be honest, the vast majority of sales come from the sick toys of the Depraved Monkey, but it still feels good when people use the rental box because this product once kept us afloat when we first started last year.

Have you been naughty or nice?

Looks like some people have been naughty and not nice as the holiday season approaches, as I've seen a spike in the number of people buying the Santa's Revenge sex toy.

We did this when we were just kinda starting in December of 2011 I believe, and its age shows, but it's still a fun toy to have for people who think Santa's number one priority is torturing and fucking his constituents, not necessarily in that order.

And as always, get one of the older sex toys and I'll send you another one free. I never advertize that fact, but I've been doing it for awhile now. After buying Santa's Revenge, The Fuck the Drunk Futon, or the Plumber's Pleasure, just IM me (monkeyking2011) and I'll send you the gift.

So, have a happy holiday and try not sticking candy canes in anyone's tushy in real life - well, unless of course they beg you to ;-)

DM Petter Released

We released the DM Petter today, click here to see it in the marketplace.

However, we never did add any music to the toy, mainly because we were worried about copyright issues. Saying that, the item is still something that is pretty cool, with some sexy sexy dances, as demoed by the lovely TrixxyBell below.

Cumming Soon : DM Petter

In addition to causing addiction, heartbreak, and (alarmingly enough) organ-damage, the beautiful TrixxyBell loves to cause copious amounts of drooling, and what better way to do this than by using our newest toy, the DM Petter.

When you wear the DM Petter, anyone who pets you on the head will cause you to break out in spontaneous dancing, from a selection of 11 random sexy sexy dances. Even better, if you wear your DM Pussy or DMH Penis, petting will excite your genitals and inevitably create an orgasm of seismic proportions.

You can also pet yourself and use a pop-up menu to manually select which dance to activate - always a party favorite lol.

The DM Petter will be released very soon. We just need to add some random music to the  dances ;-)

Happy First Rez Day to Rae!

 

"Watta voice!"

An (advanced) happy rez day to one of my older SL friends, Rae (loveangelrae). 

I still remember the first time we met her, she was still less than a month old, a noob. One thing I remember was how determined she was to learn new things, how she kept bugging us for building tips because we were just starting out too at the time, and how she gave us our first (and only!) commissioned job, a couch that we had to place poses in lol. 

And look at her now. She's accomplished a lot in such a short time, and she's currently a builder, model, teacher, and budding scripter. She also is one of the best Voice Actresses in SL, and a very good singer too. I am very proud of her.

I wish her all the best going forward, in SL and (much more importantly) in RL a well.

To boldly go where no Second Life Ass has gone before

There's no denying it. There are quite a few people who are lovers of the human butt. They want to spank it, whip it, run their hands all over it and kiss it, poke their penises and other miscellaneous toys into it, and delve into its deep inner secrets. There's just something about those curvy muscled round globes with that delectable and deliciously naughty dark center that draw people to them, and charge them with an eroticism far removed from their basic functionality.

We would love to create something for all the ass-lovers out there in SL, but just introducing some basic item with limited features would be a disappointment. It would have to be innovative and unusual. It would have to be something depraved.

The other problem is that most people already have the shapes they want in their avatars, including the ass, so creating something to replace the original shape would also be problematical.

The possible solution, which we've discussed before, would be to have a wearable sculpt of the anus (which can close and open) or introduce an outer transparent "layer" that would go over the the original shape and add functionality to it. I'm thinking of all the functionality of a normal RL ass, as well as features not normally possible in RL. I've also seen some items in SL that create various "assholes", and that would be fine too. Plus, we would include some basic anal toy with it, just like we added a bonus Dildo to the DM Pussy and helped make it the strongest selling full pussy in SL.

I have to admit I'm excited about such a project, and perhaps we can release it before the end of October. If anyone has any suggestions, feel free to IM the avatar depravedmonkey. And remember, we crave depraved, so don't be shy about telling us about your most unusual suggestions.

Cool Spots in SL (Part 1): Poppyport

Lots of aircraft to view and admire.

There are a lot of  cool places that I think embody what SL should be: a place for creative people to make creative things and showcase them. Some of these people have become my friends, so I'll take the time once in awhile to introduce their work.

Sylvie Etoile has been one of my more demanding customers, and I like that (to a point lol) because it makes the product better when people give good suggestions. Once we became friends, she introduced me to her own work, an honest to goodness SL airport called Poppyport, where you can fly aircraft, helicopters, gyrocopters, autogyros, tiltrotors,and various other types of flying contraptions. There is also a marina and harbour next door with berths for rent. I was even surprised to discover that there are airlines flying SL that use her airport!

You can choose from several different planes to fly.

In fact, there is a whole subculture of people who fly airplanes and live the life of flying in SL, which include airlines like Vulture Air and groups for women aviators in SL such as the SL 99's, and talking to Sylvie certainly opened my eyes about this little known and fascinating niche.

Sylvie also owns several residential properties (a notecard to the properties are available inside the airport terminal), and this is one place where she uses the Lemur Rental Boxes. I visited one and was very surprised to see how much the product was modded to accomodate the look and feel of the place. She basically tranferred scripts to new objects that she created and embedded the thing on the wall of the property. Looks very good actually, and she graciously offered to help me create better textures for the one sold in the marketplace.

This Lemur Rental Box looks hell better than the one that's sold!

Information:

Poppyport SLURL: http://slurl.com/secondlife/Inari/98/30/39

Poppyport Website: http://www.poppyport.com/

MK's Little Second Life Dictionary (Part 3)

"Wouldn't it suck if the girl in red was actually a cableguy named Tony?"

   
Gor - because we all know basing one's entire life on a rather boring and immature science fiction/fantasy book is cool (ahem, scientology)

Magic Box - it's not magic cuz it seldom works.

Master - someone with an enlarged cranium in SL who probably makes minimum wage in RL.

RLV - when everyone pretends you can't simply turn off the viewer to get out of the damn cage.

Tier - at least you pay taxes and (most times) get something tangible in return.

MK's Little Second Life Dictionary (Part Deux)

"Cuz we all know penguins have sexy boobs"

BREEDABLES - a fun way to throw away lots of money that would otherwise be wasted on rent or mortgage.

ESCORTS - will pretend they actually care for you if you throw enough lindens at them. Most likely male in RL. and if female, is probably ugly.

FURRIES - people whose pets hide when they coo "i wuf u".

LINDENS - pretend money used to pay for pretend mansions, where you can engage in pretend sex and raise pretend families. The conversion rate to US dollar depends on the waxing and waning of the full moon, and the general mood and disposition of certain Linden Lab employees. Rumor has it that Oat Bran in the morning results in a strengthening of the linden against the dollar due to higher flow rates.

RL - that thing that everyone in SL desperately wants to avoid.

MK's Little Second Life Dictionary (Part 1)

"Noobs often engage in bizarre behavior that would have made them blush in RL"

 I've learned a lot since coming here, but for those people who have yet to figure out the intricacies of the SL vocabulary, here's a little guide to some of the common terms used in this little wonderland of ours.

AFK - "I'm doing the dishes. Fuck off!"

ALT - officially sanctioned way to cause trouble and act like a total fucktard without anyone knowing it's you.

GRIEFER - people who are slightly below cockroaches on the evolutionary scale. They like bright flashing lights and lotsa explosions.

IN LOVE - an ephemeral and transient state in SL with an average life span of two weeks, give or take a fling or two.

NOOB - Someone who wears boxes and has no genitals.

SLEX - Sex for those who don't get any in real life.

Break

"I need more good SF books, and less SL crap."

It's been a very busy summer, with the new DMH Penis upgrade going out in mid-June, then the DM Pussy introduction on July 20, the DM Whip on August 3, and now the DM Vibrator Set launching today.

I have to admit, I feel burnt out and tired, and it would be good to have a break from all the shit and filth and bullshit that swirls around SL (none of which means anything in the real world). Plus, lotsa RL stuff that needs doing, which of course is more important by far than SL.

There'll be more innovative products I think come Fall, but for now it would be good to take a break and take stock of our progress, our misadventures, and our failures this last couple of months.

Introducing the new DM Vibrator Set with Facial Expression Menu

The new DM Vibrator Set is in the market.

It is fully integrated with the DM Pussy, and is meant to supplement the Pussy.

In addition to self-play, the set comes with a remote control that allows the user of the remote to trigger the vibrator from a long distance away, and induce the unsuspecting wearers of the DM Vibrator and DM Pussy to spontaneously and helplessly orgasm repeatedly in front of surprised passersby.

Or some lucky guy or gal could have their girl partner wear the DM Pussy and a DM Vibrator, then use the Remote Control to trigger the vibrator during play to heighten her excitement, until she cums and squirts all over.

Features include:

3 DIFFERENT VIBRATORS included, with each one being configurable and MOD, so you can change the color and size to your liking..

REMOTE CONTROL - Allows another person in the same region to trigger and control the vibrators from far off. Tested up to 200 m away.

BLACK LIST - prevents black-listed avatars from controlling vibrators even with the remote.

4 ANIMATIONS - can be triggered by the owner or another person using a dialog menu. Also has vibrator buzzing SOUND.

HIDE MODE - allows the owner to hide the fact she is wearing a vibrator.

FACE EXPRESSION MENU - allows user or partner to control the facial expressions of the vibrator wearer. This is a new innovation that will surely increase your enjoyment level. No more blank idiotic stares from avatars even while they are doing radical slex activities.

DM PUSSY INTEGRATION - vibrators will affect the excitement level of worn DM Pussy to provide the ultimate in entertainment. Owner can specify the Jolt levels of each of the vibrators and when triggered, owners wearing the DM Pussy can be induced to cum repeatedly and helplessly.