Joint events between BDSM Sims in Second Life

Crux Maximus and Buster Norse led a great discussion on D/s Ethics

I should take note of a discussion that was held on November 21 at Cafe LaPe'rouse @ Austin. The subject was on "D/s Ethics: Doms & Extortion", and it was hosted by Crux Maximus and Buster Norse, who was represented as an Omega Facilitator.

I had initially been intrigued by the use of the word "extortion" in the context of a D/s relationship, but I realized quickly that this event was also special in that it was a coordinated venture between two independent groups in SL: Cafe O and Omega Library.

It is of course fairly common to see the same people attending different discussions and events in multiple sims, but the holding of joint events seems to be far less common, and something which in my opinion should be held more often.

There are several advantages to this.

First, it avoids creating repetitious discussions or events.

Second, it creates synergy between the participating organizations, where the abilities of various people are put to good use cooperating in setting up the event, rather than competing against one another.

Third, it exposes members of the different groups to other sims that they may not have visited or known about before.

Fourth, such events generally will have a much larger audience, due to the notices sent to all the groups involved, with all the attendant advantages of having a larger number of participants.

Fifth, such event coordination fosters overall cooperation and communication between the various BDSM related sims.

All these advantages were in full display during the discussion at Cafe O, so much so that I wondered whether greater cooperation between sims, or even a loose overarching organization that coordinates between the sims, would be the way to go in future.

You only need one man

"You only need one man to love you. 

But him to love you free like a wildfire, 

crazy like the moon, 

always like tomorrow, 

sudden like an inhale and overcoming like the tides. 

Only one man and all of this." 

- C. JoyBell C.

I got this quote from my friend Lori's blog (thanks and welcome back Lori!). I think such sentiments apply equally to both men and women. Yes, we men do tear up occasionally and long for a relationship like this, in between lusting after the babysitter, the nurse, the waitress with the big *****, and pretty much any sweet little thing we meet that's female and of the species Homo sapiens - and sometimes not even the second (ewwww!)

Yes, it's true, we're not always like these guys.

In fact, I was bawling on my buttery popcorn maybe half a dozen times when I watched Interstellar last weekend - and it had nothing to do with the fact the darn thing ($5???!!! $5 for a small bag of popcorn???!!) needed more salt.

So, where was I? Oh yes...you know the stereotypes...the ones that aren't necessarily true....real guys don't cry....they just kinda sniff (disgustingly) and hold it all in. And talk sports...now, how about them Trojans? Yeah baby! *fist pump*

*ends weird rambling, faintly misandric rant and goes off for some brewski*

TV and Movie Charades at Cafe LaPe'rouse @ Austin Island

A surprisingly large crowd of about 19 people gathered at Cafe LaPe'rouse @ Austin Island for a fun filled hour or so of TV and movie charades. The participants sat in a circle in the island setting, and included Ninee, Crux, Orchid, Marion, Seregej, Linda, MK, Billy, Sage, Beldom, Clemoff, Bintage, Arin, Buster, Cherie, Meme, and WW.

The event was hosted by Melinda Nyn and Liss (LissomePrey Resident) and the audience had to guess the title of movies, books, or TV shows from segments of the work read out by the two hosts.

Liss and Meli were great hosts

The action was fast and furious, and generated quite a lot of laughter. My Linda Lou and Crux Maximus probably got the most correct answers, although no one was really counting

All hail Linda, the Movie Trivia Diva!

In the end, everyone had a great time, and I stayed after the event to chit chat with Meli, WW (worldwide Pedalo), Sage (SageWisdom Resident), Sergej Lubitsch, Clemoff Independent, and Ninee Cerise, among others. This was the second event I attended that was hosted by Meli, and like the first one (a voice chat that lasted maybe 5-6 hours!) people stayed after the event proper. As her sponsor WW put it, Meli is like a magnet and always attracts people to her.

I should add that the island setting was very calming, and the bean bag kinda chair was soft and plushy, so much so that I had the strong urge to get some naptime (apologies if I dozzed off and snored for a second or two there!). A lone duck circled the water nearby, and I kept expecting Linda to pull out one of her many many pea shooters and bag it for our dinner, though fortunately she was fully engrossed in the game. In the end, I had to drag myself off the chair and reluctantly go home after a half hour or so of back and forth chatter after the event.

Here's to more fun trivia events in the future!

Someone asked how it was actually played with no voice...I added an excerpt of one of the rounds below. Mel and Liss basically "acted out" a scene from the film and people tried to guess the name of the film based on that segment.

Liss (LissomePrey Resident): Film - 5 words

Liss: I see you have the retired folk coming round later.

Mel: Just the gents, the ladies are off shopping.

Liss:  You need to be careful with the music then.

Mel: I do?

Liss: Yes classical is great, jazz is fine and you should be able to have a bit of rock.

Mel: What about hip-hop?

Liss: That is probably OK but there will be all sorts of trouble if they hear even a few bars of Johnny Cash or Dolly Parton.

Mel: Fine, I get it. ...

Sage (SageWisdom Resident): yeah Master crux

Melinda Nyn: hiya Orchid hugs

Linda Burnstein (lb Burnstein): best little whorehouse in texas

Orchid (orchid Zsun) slips in quietly for a bit

Orchid (orchid Zsun) waves not wanting to disturb

Melinda Nyn: no Linda :)

Melinda Nyn: but i can see why :)

Linda Burnstein (lb Burnstein): hmmm

Liss (LissomePrey Resident): Don't play  Johnny Cash or Dolly Parton for the retired gents

Linda Burnstein (lb Burnstein): no guns for old men

Melinda Nyn: almost linda

Sergej Lubitsch: no country for old men

Melinda Nyn: one word wrong!

Linda Burnstein (lb Burnstein): no country for old men

Melinda Nyn: yay Sergej Sir

Crux Maximus: ah

Linda Burnstein (lb Burnstein): lol!!!!

Melinda Nyn: and Linda

Linda Burnstein (lb Burnstein): dang it

Melinda Nyn: excellent!

Liss (LissomePrey Resident): Yes Linda, Sir Sergej

MK (monkeyking2011 Resident): linda got it too.

Linda Burnstein (lb Burnstein): lol

Melinda Nyn: you got it just in time both of you

Linda Burnstein (lb Burnstein): nooo i was thinking guns

MK (monkeyking2011 Resident): you always think guns

MK (monkeyking2011 Resident): is the problem

Linda Burnstein (lb Burnstein): :)

Melinda Nyn: haha :)

Liss (LissomePrey Resident): Mel's turn

Dominant warning signs for submissives and slaves in Second Life

This a growing list that I'll add to once in awhile. My personal opinion only.

1. He shelters you from your friends or from meeting new people

2. He is moody. He has emotional mood swings.

3. He cannot be bothered to focus his attention on you during scening.

4. He does not believe in limits in SL and is color blind when it comes to safewords.

5. He loves taking you to laggy fuck sims all the time.

6. He spends an inordinate amount of time in SL. Being well-rounded means having a sane balance between your SL and RL lives. Problems in RL sooner or later manifest themselves in SL.

7. He wants to collar you approximately one hour into a conversation. This either means you are the greatest thing since they invented California rolls or he has really low standards. Take your pick.

8. He has a quick turnover of lovers, sub, slaves, or has a huge harem whose members go in and out all the time.

9. His avatar looks like a noob. If he can't be bothered to improve himself, why do you think he would even bother to try to improve and help you?

10. His definition of slexing is restricted to jumping on poseballs and uttering one liners until he gets his wank on.

11. He loves boasting about his conquests and BDSM skills.

12. He has no payment information on his avatar. This either means he has a main somewhere that he is hiding from you, or he has manna falling from heaven (in which case, you had better jump and marry this guy)

13. He likes throwing you way past your limits and later says it's because he's teaching you new things and helping you grow.

14. He thinks you giving an opinion or constructive suggestion is topping from the bottom or you being a bratty sub.

15. He loves tagging himself as a Master, or naming himself as one.

16. He puts down other Doms for no solid reason...other than to elevate himself.

17. He thinks of you more as an experimental subject or wank toy rather than someone who can learn and grow with him.

Cobra MC Rally ends

The Cobra MC Rally 2014 ended with the declaration by the Cobra MC president Rayven Firebrand of the winners of the Bad Ass Biker and Biker Babe contests.

I managed to catch the last part of the proceedings, and was astonished again by how many people were in the crowd.

Although I missed some of the events due to RL constraints, Linda and I did manage to drop by the Seven Seas Fishing event on Sunday before riding the Serpents Harbor bike track and visiting Roissy VDO.

Sister Graduation of Blue Ronsein at RoissyVDO

We attended the Sister Graduation of Blue Ronsein at Roissy VDO.

The proceedings were held in the lush gardens in front of the Chateau Roissy, with two sections of chairs facing a red-carpeted platform with an elevated runway.

My Linda Lou had the chance to go inworld, so after doing some laps on a new bike track at Serpents Harbor, we TP'ed to her private sandbox, where she changed onto a resplendent shimmery gown.

MK and Linda

The ceremony began with the main participants walking along the elevated platform to the raised dais, where they sat on chairs and cushions before the ceremony began. Gillian Darkwatch (Gillian Gemini) guided Blue to a cushion before one of her teachers.

Samois Supervisor Vette (yvetteSapphyre Resident) began the proceedings, then introduced Maitre Thomas (ThomasX Xue). The next to talk was Kurt (kurt8 Resident), who started by talking about his pupil's progress, before giving his whole-hearted recommendation that she join the Roissy Val d'Oise select Sisterhood. Sister Nara (nara1 Resident) then gave her own thoughts about training Blue and also recommended that Blue be admitted to the sisterhood, before sim owner René (geir Resident) confirmed her as a Sister.

The ceremony was moving and the lush surroundings definitely added a lot to the proceedings. Although Linda could not stay long enough to finish it, I was very glad my baby girl could at least join me at the beginning.

Cobras MC Rally 2014

Cobra MC is holding its Cobra Rally 2014 from November 14 to November 16. Since Linda is a veteran Cobra but could not attend, I decided to drop by and observe the festivities so she could at least see it through my eyes.

I was TPed up to the rally area by the Cobra Senior Enforcer, where I found a very large group of people gathered around a circular track, which was aptly named the Cage of Death. Riders had to zoom around the enclosed track, and it was interesting to watch some of them spill out of the cage into the milling crowd.

Behind the large field, vendor stalls had been set up.

And behind that, an army of tents had been erected.

Each tent flew the flag of its organization.

The next event during the evening was a bull riding contest.

DJ Crossfire played some tunes while each rider in turn rode the bull, which bucked and tried to get them off.

A scoreboard behind the corral listed the top riders.

If you're into biking at all, I'd highly recommend dropping by the Cobra MC sim and joining in the rally. One caveat is that you'll have to have voice switched on. since the rally was pretty much held all on voice. IM me if you need a notecard with the schedule of events.

Les Misérables

When I was in college I watched this show probably 4 or 5 times in Broadway...it never failed to stir my emotions and the songs were all great. This flash mob (Orlando Shakespeare Theater) did a great job.

It had one of the more tragic example of unrequited love...the girl Eponine, who in almost all versions of the story cuts a much more sympathetic figure than the usually colder Cosette.

Marius...you doofus.

And probably the best rendition of One Day More during the 10th Anniversary concert.

How to tell you're doing domly right

1. You care more about the sub's safety and health than you do about your own pleasure. For example, you're not wanking uncontrollably and going into some inner headspace yourself while controlling a scene

2. You don't expect every sub you meet to kneel down before you in abject worship of your domliness, or even expect them to call you Sir, much less to jump into bed with you automatically just because they are submissive.

3. You actually do your research and don't base your entire repertoire of domly dom stuff on literature like the Story of O, or even worse, the Gor novels. You continue to actively learn, and talk openly to your sub and with others...go to discussions, and practice practice practice in SL and RL. You're not the fucking lone ranger...you don't exist in a vacuum.

4. You never ever believe YOUR way is always the RIGHT way. You adjust, adapt, and are flexible as you learn more things, whether it be about your partner or about D/s in general,

5. You don't mold a sub into what YOU want her to be, you help the sub achieve the best of what SHE can be.

6. You make sure you have control over yourself first before letting someone entrust control over themselves to you.

7. You use the right tool for the job. Now put that car battery back into the car where it belongs.

8. You do the dishes. Yes, you. You don't forget there are much more important things in life than getting your domly on.

9. You're honest with yourself and with the people around you.

10. You are humble and realize that you will make mistakes, and when you do you graciously acknowledge them and learn so you'll do better next time.

Oring ceremony for Jen Umaga at Cafe O

I attended the Oring ceremony for Jen Umaga at Cafe O.

I believe I had stumbled on one of these at one time awhile back without knowing what it was, but this time, after confirming with the Valet Rodney McGimsie that the event was open to all, my attendance was deliberate. The place was packed, and slightly laggy, but I found the speeches heartfelt and moving, the cheers and applause genuine and full of joy, and I enjoyed the feeling of camaraderie that permeated the air.

Congratulations to Jen on her new status as an o-girl!

Ratzu, Ivy1, Jen, and Meme (Sozome)

Alice in BDSM Land

Linda is a tireless explorer of various sims, and recently she has been seeking out all the nooks and crannies hidden at Cafe O.

I tasked her yesterday with collecting all the sites at Cafe O that she finds into a box of landmarks, and being the obedient girl that she is, she reported back to me only a few hours later with more than twenty LMs!

Later that night I took the time to try out the various LMs, and found an eclectic collection of rooms and places scattered throughout the sim, including a gargantuan tree house, a naughty cowgirl barn and farm, various caves decorated with D/s furniture and weird abandoned statuary, and bedrooms located high up in medieval towers and forest glens.

My favorite room however, was accessible only via a tiny doorway beneath the grinning visage of a cheshire cat. I crawled through the door and suddenly found myself in a room dedicated to the adventures of Alice in Wonderland - but with an erotic twist!

I have to admit that I had a slight crush on the fictional Alice when I was a kid, so I rather enjoyed the various paintings that graced the walls of that hidden room.

Alice in BDSM Land

Alice in BDSM Land

Abandoned statues

Melinda's Tree House

Back

My baby girl's back

BDSM Events Calendars in Second Life

Discussion at the D/s Academy

I attended discussions about D/s over the last week in several second life sims. My reasoning for doing so are pretty obvious. I think learning more about something that forms a significant part of you, and which could have strong effects on your life and the lives of others who interact with you, is a never ending process, and one that involves an open and honest exchange of ideas with others.

The first event I attended was a discussion about the role of love in D/s on November 3, and it was hosted by Ratzu Darkstone and held at Cafe LaPe'rouse @ Austin Island. All talks were held in text chat.

The second was also a text chat discussion, and also at Cafe LaPe'rouse @ Austin Island. It was hosted by Lilian Howley on November 4, and people discussed the significance and importance of kneeling in the context of a D/s relationship.

The third was a freestyle discussion on November 7 about BDSM and D/s topics in general at !Omega D/s Library. It was hosted by Musetta Fieschi in voice and text chat, and the topics moved from the downtrend in attendance in RP BDSM sims, to the avoidance of predators in the D/s community at large.

Finally, I attended a discussion at the D/s Academy on November 8 that focused on the phenomenon of "brats" in the D/s community. This was hosted by Zano Irata and was held using both voice and text chat.

I will note at this time some of the advantages of doing discussions in voice or text chat.

Discussions using voice tend to be more natural and fast paced. You have a better sense of the people who are interacting with you. Because of the intimate feel and fast pace of the discussions, there is also less chance of some people getting bored with the discussion.

On the other hand, discussions in text chat tend to be more structured and the ideas more well-thought out and presented. The other advantage of text chat discussion of course is that you automatically have precise notes on the topic discussed for latter study if you so desired.

One thing I found out is that there are quite a number of very good discussions held by various respectable BDSM sims in Second Life, and I decided in the interest of helping others out that it would be a good idea to list the calendar of events for some of the sims that aren't simply what I would call fuck and run sims. These are the top end sims in SL with regards to D/s, and as a result the discussions and opportunities for learning are top notch as well.

Thanks to Kittie (Marionette Melody) for several of the URLs. Please feel free to suggest other calendars by IMing my main avatar.

The Art of Submission

BDSM Lifestyle Learning Center at House of V

Cafe LaPe'rouse @ Austin Island

D/s Academy

Femdom Dominion

The Gateway

Omega D/s Library

Roissy En France

Roissy Val d'Oise (VDO)

A quick tour of Roissy Val d'Oise, a Story of O sim.

I took some time to do a quick tour of another Story of O sim in Second Life called Roissy Val d'Oise. The slurl is here. and their website is here.

My courteous tour guide was the debutante Sweet (sweetbabyblues resident), who was kind enough to take the time to escort me throughout the beautiful grounds of the sim. She answered my questions about the rules of the group, as well as some of the procedures and protocols involved in gaining admittance.

A new visitor lands in a large rectangular courtyard, with shops lining the sides and a row of signs that can give out information about the group and sim, as well as application forms for those wishing to participate in it. From this central area, winding paths twist and turn alongside clear blue streams and lead to the major buildings and other structures, including the Samois and the Chateau itself. The sim also offers large cottages for rent.

I have to admit the well maintained grounds and the loving attention to detail bestowed upon the buildings and other structures make this one of the most beautiful sims I have ever visited, and the varied Fall colors of the leaves made the walk through the stone paths almost magical.

At the end of the tour, I wished Sweet good luck on her upcoming Initiation, when she will pass from becoming a Debutante to a Demoiselle, then quickly retraced the route and took pics.

Some pics of a few of the major buildings are posted below:

The Chapel

The Chateau

The path leading to the Chateau

The ballroom

Cottages for rent

Samois

A path with a winding stream.

Watching the start of the Story of O in the sim movie house.

Sailing in Sayawan Tambayan

When we first came into Second Life, one of the first communities I visited was something called Sayawan Tambayan, where I met my good friend Samara. It was a place where people mostly hang out and did choreographed group dances, as well as (interestingly enough) runway modeling. But the old sim died out, and for awhile I thought it was gone for good. But then Samara told me it turns out they resurrected the place, though in a different location.

I decided to to check it out, and found to my surprise an inland bay surrounded by sandy beaches washed by large fast moving waves. The other surprise was that the sim owners allowed rezzing of the Linda Lou in the clear blue waters of the bay!

Samara joined me and I gunned the engines of the Linda Lou, and for several minutes my piloting skills were challenged by the rough waves that crisscrossed the sim. I found out that the waves had a physical presence, and we actually were thrown backwards several times- once even onto dry land! I believe I run over a few dolphins as I struggled to avoid running afoul of the incoming waves. Sorry flipper, we hardly knew ye!

I had never experienced that before, and it was actually quite fun.

Facing the bay, with an incoming wave and dolphins playing.